93 seconds of Fear

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I want to share this video clip with you. It is the 90 seconds prior to my first ‘Live video’

Whilst I don’t understand what this “Live’ thing looks like yet, I want to bring my interests of music and movement, critical thinking and story telling into a live experience which is authentic and ‘in the moment’, a space which appreciates the stuff greater than ourselves which we cannot by design knowingly understand.

I share it because this is what fear looks like for me.

procrastinating, joking, thinking , looking at the ground, fidgeting….

Basically everything other than taking the first leap into doing what I believe in. Thankfully I pushed through, with the help of my collaborator @mattfleming14 and managed to make the first video, inconveniently about death, called To Die For 

Sometimes people say to me that I look confident when I speak etc but I can assure you there is a battle every single time and I am almost never satisfied with the result however I do gain energy from the elusive force of momentum, my ceiling becomes my floor and I begin to focus on navigating the next apparent ceiling.

I try to move towards the things that scare me, fear is one of the only forces I trust.

Fear is a signal that we are alive, not a wise voice to be advised by